Knitting when I'm happier / Happier when I'm knitting

I wasn't knitting for a long time. I wasn't spinning, either. Or writing, or creating much of anything at all.

There are a lot of reasons. My energy was low, I'd picked up other hobbies, I was having a rough time at work, and the whole world has been having a rough time for the past couple of years. Plus I had a pretty bad moth infestation, so the skeins sitting in my cupboard were less full of exciting possibilities and more full of disappointment.

So I lost my mojo. I lost my drive to create, and I focused on other things. It wasn't all bad - I read a lot books and learned tons. I grew and changed as a person. I think I got a little wiser. But when I'm not making things, I feel less like myself.

I'm not sure which way is the right order: do I knit when I'm happy, or am I happy when I knit? They feed on each other in a seamless circle. Knitting makes me feel better, but I can't create when I have nothing to give. A few years ago, I lost my rhythm and got thrown out of the cycle. And suddenly, last month, I picked up some yarn and I felt the hunger again. I picked up the needles, and by the end of one week, I had made a shawl.

Immediately I made plans for the next one. I let the yarn flow through my hands; I watch the colours splash and meld while the fabric grows from the needles.

I'm feeling like myself again.

~Joyuna